For as long as I can remember, honesty has been very important to me. I know we all learn that it’s a virtue to be truthful, but for me, it goes beyond that. I have always felt uneasy about representing myself in a way that isn’t completely real.
Now, I’m not completely naïve. I know how the world works. There are certain scripts we must follow as members of society.
This is one space I have the freedom to make my own. And I don’t want it to be another overly cheery, prescriptive blog about how easy it is to change and how your life would be perfect if you only followed my advice.
Here’s the thing: I am a contradictory sort of person.
I’m fat. I’m interested in health.
I’m slowly becoming a vegan, but I can’t say no to cheese.
I’m incredibly nerdy, but I love and understand makeup.
I’m a lifelong Christian. I’m queer.
I have an extremely logical mind that’s consistently overcome by an equally irrational heart.
I am obsessed with grammar and spelling, except when it comes to poetry.
I know that these fractious pieces of my identity will probably never be resolved, and I am learning to be okay with that. In fact, that process has become the basis for this new project. I’m calling it Living While because every decision I make, activity I do, and place I go arises out of one of these conditions. When I struggle to accept how queerness affects my relationships, I am Living While Queer. Or when I wish I could speak more openly and coherently about my faith, I am Living While Christian. And when I sigh in relief that an airplane seatbelt buckles, I am Living While Fat.
As you can tell, there are important, far-reaching things that I want to talk about here. However, there are also silly, inconsequential things that I enjoy and care about just as much. At its core, I want this place to be one of genuine expression. Being open doesn’t mean you’ll only hear serious, heavy issues – it just means you won’t only hear the light, easy stuff.
The posts on this blog will not tell you how to live your life, achieve your dreams, or change the world. They will be incomplete, sometimes frustrating, and perhaps completely inadequate in addressing the topics posed. But there might be one sentence here or there that resonates deep within you, that changes some part of how you perceive the things and people around you. If nothing else, you will get some honest pieces of me and my experiences - good, bad, and in-between.
So if the prospect of knowing me on maybe an uncomfortable level appeals to you… stay tuned!
[If you're the kind of person who needs a more concrete outline than this, you can generally expect posts a couple of times a week on a variety of topics related to self, society, and a search for meaning. ;)]
[I can be contacted via the Contact page. Check out my tumblr for more social justice/nerdiness.]